Bittersweet Cruising Friendships

Started by Captain Smollett, November 09, 2010, 08:07:07 AM

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Captain Smollett

This is not a "Sailing Story," but it does involve sailors.  We are not technically "cruising," but we are in a spot that brings us into contact with active cruisers.  I have found cruising friendships to be bittersweet - the bitter coming from the shortness and the parting.

There are not that many children passing through our marina, so imagine my surprise two days ago when saw a five year old girl bounding up A Dock.  We were on our way to church in town, so my own children did not get to hang out with her. 

I did find out that the family is from Quebec and speaks very little English.  In fact, only the Mom, Kathleen, speaks sufficient English to pass as translator.  I gave my daughter a crash course in French...Bonjour, Comment ca va? and Je ne parle pas francais! being the focus of our 1 hour lesson.

When we caught up with them after lunch, the three children did not let a little problem like a language barrier get in the way.  They were laughing, playing, running and, well, being children, in no time at all.  For me, it allowed a much needed brush-up of my very rusty (and never very good) French while helping the adults practice English.

They are beginning a 5 year circumnavigation.  Their trip is not really planned beyond getting to the Caribbean, so they will follow "the wind" after that.  It's very exciting to hear them talk about their plans and the adventure that awaits.

Yesterday, I took Kathleen over to fill up one of their propane bottles, and afterward, we all met in a nearby field to play soccer, tag and for the little ones to find a mud puddle remnant from a recent rain.  It was, to me, surreal, to be there playing and laughing with a family with whom I could hardly talk.  The 60 degree day (yes, I'm taking  break trying to convert in my head to Celsius) was capped by crystal clear, deep blue skies; I believe that our afternoon together was just "meant to be."

They planned to leave today, which means they may be gone already as I type this.  I'm saddened by their departure.  Is that selfish?  The nomadic cruising lifestyle is almost defined by saying "goodbye;" the goodbyes keep some from even starting a cruise.  How does one form friendships if we are always saying goodbye?

Then it dawned on me that the depth of the friendship is not measured in years, days or even hours.  It is measured in the quality of time - the nature of the meeting.  This young family, Daniel, Kathleen and Leah were nice, down-to-earth unpretentious people and I consider it a great honor to have met them...and for them to have given us one afternoon during their short time here.  In the end, I've found friendships like this to be more 'sweet' than 'bitter.'

So, for all sailfarers on/near the ICW south to Florida, be on the look-out for S/V Persiedes2.  I hope you get to meet them, too, even if you must say goodbye.
S/V Gaelic Sea
Alberg 30
North Carolina

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.  -Mark Twain

Tim

"Mariah" Pearson Ariel #331, "Chiquita" CD Typhoon, M/V "Wild Blue" C-Dory 25

"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
W.A. Ward

Jim_ME

Another great glimpse into the live-aboard life. Sometimes you have to travel to experience those other cultures, but sometimes they can come to you.  

I am reminded of Tania Aebi also writing about the sadness of parting on her voyage (and increasingly of being rushed to leave too soon by the deadline to set the record), and about encountering the French sailors in Panama and spending much time in their company and long discussions in French, and have to brush up on and extend her ability in that language.  

At least now there may be some consolation in that, although others may part, one has the ability to continue with them in a sense, through their sailing blog, and to stay in touch.

It does seem like an affirmation of benefits of living in the present--the now-- without the need to make specific plans too far ahead.

-Jim