If Chuck Norris sailed..

[Lost Lake]

Does Chuck Norris sail?  ;D




Edit by CapnK: I split this off of the "sailing heroes" topic, because I can see it becoming a whole different discussion in its own right. :)

I hope that's OK with you, Chuck!  ;D :D

[AdriftAtSea]

Not to my knowledge, but Albert Einstein did. ;)

[Bubba the Pirate]

Does Chuck Norris sail?  ;D

He doesn't sing either.   :o)

TrT

[CapnK]

Does Chuck Norris sail?  ;D

Maybe a better way to put it:

Chuck Norris doesn't run before a storm, the storm runs before *him*.

or maybe

Chuck Norris never reefs. Ever.

;D

-------------------

From the Wikipedia page about "Chuck Norris Facts":

Chuck Norris Facts are satirical "facts" about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris that have become an Internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. The "facts" are normally absurd hyperbolic claims about Norris' toughness, attitude, virility, "alpha-male status", sophistication and masculinity.

Some examples:

• Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever.
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. 
• Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
• The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
• There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

[CapnK]

He doesn't sing either.   :o)

...and that was the last anyone ever heard from Todd...



;D

[CapnK]

Chuck Norris doesn't use an anchor. He just tells the boat "Don't move.".

[CapnK]

Chuck Norris makes his own fresh water by reverse osmosis. Through his beard.

[CapnK]

Chuck Norris has an unsinkable boat. Actually, his boat is too scared to sink.

[CapnK]

Chuck Norris doesn't tack. He doesn't have to - Chuck Norris can sail straight into the wind.

[Captain Smollett]

Chuck Norris doesn't tack. He doesn't have to - Chuck Norris can sail straight into the wind.

Variation: Chuck Norris doesn't tack.  The wind shifts for him.

[CapnK]

Good one, John!  :D

-------

Chuck Norris takes celestial nav sights by eye, and then calculates his *exact* position. From memory.



Chuck Norris' sailboat is named "The Stand-On Vessel".

[Captain Smollett]

Chuck Norris' sailboat is named "The Stand-On Vessel".

LOL.  Grog to ya!

[Captain Smollett]

Chuck Norris doesn't circumnavigate; the lines of longitude converge for him.

Chuck Norris doesn't pump his bilge; water become weightless for him.

[CapnK]

Chuck Norris doesn't pump his bilge; water become weightless for him.

Chuck Norris' boat needs no bilge pump. Water is scared to leak into his boat.

?

:)

[CapnK]

Chuck Norris' sailboats maximum hull speed is whatever *Chuck* says it is.

;D

[Frank]

Chuck baby doesn't reef...he tells the wind to slow down

[Lost Lake]

Chuck baby doesn't reef...he tells the wind to slow down

Wise men do not refer to Chuck Norris as 'Chuck baby'. His mother did that once....


Once.

[CapnK]

Chuck Norris' Six-Pack License is made of stainless steel, and is also known as his 'abs'.

(In honor of Captain Zen. :) )