Irony is...

[Fortis]

Irony is going to the bathroom at 3am on the morning before your Coast Gurad duty. Moving through the dark house and stepping barefoot onto your son's toy coastguard rescue boat where it was left on the floor.

The radar arch and antennas did a fair job of puncturing my foot, but it was the little wheels at the base of the truncated hull that performed the worst treachery, as the thing skidded out form under me as I was still wondering what had stabbed me. I crashed to the floor, collected a small chair on the way and have wrenched my back in a really unhappy way.

Upshot of the irony is that stepping on my son's "just like dad's" rescue boat means I am unfit for duty on the real rescue boat.

I am now full of codine and Voltarin (anti inflamatory) and really generally unhappy about the world.


It actually would be kind of funny, except it hurts when I breathe, let alone laugh....
(the chair impact bit of the fall was right across the kidneys). I think my wife is finding quiet out-of-the-way places to have a giggle about this....

The little boat was still firmly lodged in my heel when she came out and found me lying in a moaning heap on the floor.


Alex.

[AdriftAtSea]

Ouch... I'm really sorry that had to happen to you...but I'm probably going to be finding someplace to go giggle too... :) Get well soon... Slippers are good thing... :)

[s/v Faith]

Alex,

  Do hope you recover quickly... I hope the little guy got a safety lecture on proper berthing for his craft...  ;D

  OBTW, are you active duty or auxiliary? 

Irony is going to the bathroom at 3am on the morning before your Coast Gurad duty.

[Fortis]

The Asutralian Coastguard is different to the US and canadian models (we are not armed, for starters) and began as a combination of the Us/Canadian model and the British Lifeboat Service.)

We are mostly volunteers, though very intensively trained ones. (Most of Australia's fire service is also volunteer based, and the ambulance system used to be...) We do not conduct enforcement duties unless crew and vessel are on loan to a service liek the water police (who we frequntly augment) or the parks service (same) or even the navy (rarely, but it happens). Mostly we are a dedicated rescue and recovery service for the boating public. Very occassionaly we get hauled into working with commercial shipping or, in my last overnight duty, dealing with really weaird stuff like having a helicopter crash into the river. (Whihc experince breaks down into 12 minutes of frenzied action, 2 hours of concern and 14 hours of relentless boredom...followed by three hours of paperwork, all on the back of a bad sandwich and some choc-coated peanuts.)

Mostly we deal with good people having a bad day, sometimes we deal with drunks and idiots, occassional corpses (human and otherwise) and on one recently memorable occassion a wounded seal. Radio protocol on that one kind of went south...

CG Base "CG7, you have the wounded seal in visual and are standing by to attempt bringing it on board?"

Me "Romeo that, CG Melbourne"

CG Base "We have an expert from Melbourne zoo available on line for information and assistance for you"

Me "Is he going to tell me that seals carry deseases that can be transmitted to humans and that injured seals become agressive and incontinent?"

Zoo Expert Via CG Base  "Ah! You've obviously worked with them before!"

A lot of cross traffic of CG boat crews all over the bay pissing themselves laughing.

Me "CG Melbourne, The Skipper would like me to relay the message : Why  would we possibly not want to bring *that* on board our small ill-equiped vessel?"

The only thing wrong with the Coast Guard duty is that there are specific rules of conduct that prevent us from fishing while on patrol...Of course, if we call it a survival excercise...

Feeling a bit better.


Alex.

[AdriftAtSea]

Remind me never to bring any injured seals aboard my boat. :)

[s/v Faith]

Alex,

  That sound you just heard was me slapping my forehead  :-X

I now recall, that like most of the world... you do not live in the United States... .sorry for (typical American) error... maybe some grog will help you foot.   ;D

[Fortis]

Bit of a followup. pain is not all that much fun.

Seems I managed to herniate a disk, get a huge ligament injury on the left side of the spine causing everything to tighten up and support the injury(somehting they do not want to undo at this stage) and get a pretty major subcutanious bruise on the right side...Guestimate is that I will be wretched and crabwise for around six more weeks, and only then will they assess and tell me if the disk has come right or if I need some surgery. Joy.

Strangely enough. I am not getting near any boats for the next few weeks.


funny when an inch deep puncture of the heel of your foot is actually the least problamatic part.

Oh well.

Alex.


P.S I tried to pretend it was apulled muscle and not do much about it for about four five days. bad idea. Don't do that.

[Tim]

Yuch!! Sorry to here, take care.

Tim

[AdriftAtSea]

Ouch Alex... Get well soon... Good thing it's headed for winter down there now.. :)

[Fortis]

Well, I offically fooled the doctors. They estimated I would be in pain and medicated for six weeks...But Hah, it has only been 5 weeks and 4 days and look, no pain meds or feeling like a puppet with one string too short. I guess I win.

Time to do some upper body excercises and get back on the boat. Oddly enough, all the walking to and from the new job and the fact I have been trying to use the stairs instead of the lifts and such means that in other ways I am fittter than I have been in a few years.

[AdriftAtSea]

Alex-

Anytime you beat the docs is a good one. :) Twenty something years ago they said I'd have to stay in physical therapy to stay walking for the rest of my life... Haven't been in 15 years.  Might have to go for a tune up this year or next...but not too bad overall.