The Worried Skipper

[ThistleCap]

We all get to know little snippets of verse that are part of our sailing heritage, like "and all I want is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by."  Maybe some would enjoy something more.

THE WORRIED SKIPPER
   By Wallace Irwin

"I hates to think of dyin'," says the skipper to the mate.
"Starvation, shipwrecks, heart disease I loathes to contemplate.
I hates to think of vanities
And all the crimes they lead to,"
Then says the mate, with looks sedate,
"Ye doesn't really need to."

"It fills me breast with sorrer," says the skipper with a sigh,
"To conjer up the happy days what careless has slipped by;
I hates to contemplate the day
I ups and left me Mary."
Then say the mate, "Why contemplate,
If it ain't necessary?"

"Suppose that this here vessel," says the skipper with a groan,
"Should lose'er bearing's, run away, and hump upon a stone;
"Suppose she'd shiver and go down
When save ourselves we couldn't,"
The mate replies, "Oh, blow me eyes!
Suppose ag'in, she shouldn't?"

"The chances is ag'in us," says the skipper in dismay,
"If fate don't kill us out and out,
It gets us all some day.
So many perish of old age,
The death rate must be fearful,"
"Well," says the mate, "at any rate,
We might as well die cheerful."

"I read in them statistics books," the nervous skipper cries,
"That every minute by the clock, some feller ups and dies;
I wonder what disease they gits,
That kills in such a hurry."
The mate he winks and says, "I thinks
They mostly dies of worry."

"Of certain things," the skipper sighs, "me conscience won't be rid,
And all the wicked things I done
I sure should not have did;
The wrinkles on me inmost soul compels me oft to shiver."
"Yer soul's first rate," observes the mate,
"The trouble's with yer liver."


No worries, Mon.  Go sailing.

[Marc]

Thistle,  That poem is so good I printed it off, and will somehow make a sign of it and hang it up in my boat.  It can really make people think just how small we are.  Marc

[ThistleCap]

Thanks for that Marc.  I like to share, especially things nautical, but I was concerned someone would be saying, "What's this character doin' now? Reading POETRY to us!!!???  I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Jim

[Captain Smollett]

Thanks for that Marc.  I like to share, especially things nautical, but I was concerned someone would be saying, "What's this character doin' now? Reading POETRY to us!!!???  I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Jim

No worries..at least from me.

Poetry is a rich tradition in sailing, especially in the Great Age of Sail.

Here's a grog for posting it.

[polecat]

Thanks ThistleCap - Here's another Wallace Irwin I think this one was made into a song.

The chivalrous shark

Most chivalrous fish of the ocean
To ladies forbearing and mild,
Though his record be dark,
is the man-eating shark,
Who will eat neither woman nor child.

He dines upon seamen and skippers,
And tourists his hunger assuage,
And a fresh cabin boy
will inspire him with joy
If he's past the maturity age.

A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher,
He'll gobble one any fine day,
But the ladies, God bless 'em
He'll only address 'em
Politely and go on his way.

I can readily cite you an instance
Where a lovely young lady of Breem,
Who was tender and sweet
and delicious to eat
Fell into the bay with a scream.

She struggled and flounced in the water,
And signaled in vain for her bar,
And she'd surely been drowned
if she hadn't been found
By a chivalrous man-eating shark.

He bowed in a manner most polished
Thus soothing her impulses wild.
"Don't be frightened," he said,
"I've been properly bred,
And will eat neither woman nor child."

Then her proffered his fin and she took it
Such gallantry none can dispute.
While the passengers cheered
as the vessel they neared
And a broadside was fired in salute.

And they soon stood alongside the vessel,
When a life-saving dinghy was lowered
With the pick of the crew,
And her relatives too
And the mate and the skipper aboard.

So they took her aboard in a jiffy,
And the shark stood attention the while,
Then he raised on his flipper
and ate up the skipper
And went on his way with a smile.

And this shows that the prince of the ocean,
To ladies forbearing and mile,
Though his record be dark
Is the man-eating shark,
Who will eat neither woman nor child.

enjoy
jim

[ThistleCap]

Thanks, Polecat.  I didn't have that one.  My wife homeschools our granddaughter.  I read the poem to her this morning, and she got a big kick out of it.

Thanks, John.