How much rum is there in SC?

[Frank]

I just checked in and am heading over to see Capt K.  If past performances are any indication.....there may be NO rum left here. If there is....I hope there are aspirin's at the drug store!!!

[CapnK]

CJ drank it...

[SalientAngle]

they used to only sell it in airline miniature bottles

[CapnK]

It isn't always a pretty life we lead, sometimes you do what you have to do, whether you like it or not, just in order to try and keep up in this world.

Yeah... so anyway, the funniest thing - ol' Frankie lives in Canada, right? Well, it just so happens that a few days ago he PM's me that he is "gonna be in the area", and would like to drop by and see some of the Good Works I do way down here in South Carolina, US of A.

Now most of y'all know as well as I do that Canaduh and SC ain't much in the same area at all, but I didn't think too much of it except that I like to meet fellow sailFarer's from time to time, so I told him where I was at and to give a holler and come by once he got here.

But when he got here, I could tell from his eyes, his body language, his general demeanor, that there was more to this story than I was being told...

Now, I'm a pretty straight-up kind of person, what you see is what you get and all that, and don't much go in for intrigues, petty or otherwise, so like I said up top, when I could tell something was up, I didn't mess around, I ain't necessarily proud that I had to do it, but I did do it, because it was the only way to get to the Truth of the matter.

I rumboarded Frank.

Yes, I did.

He's a Canadian, ya see, and that means that cold water (or beer) wouldn't work.

He tried to hold out, but once you get them held at the right angle and pour that Myers into 'em, they WILL start talking.

And boy oh boy did the Truth come out...

So now I know the "secret", and I am shocked and surprised.

It seems that Tim became dismayed and desperate when he saw how fast I was sailing along the other day in the Virtual Vendee. Realizing that my superior virtual sailing skillz would mean he would soon have to surrender the lead position in the race, he arranged an untraceable deposit of gold Krugerrands into a numbered account in the Bahamas at the Green Turtle Cay Bank.

This bit of financial shenanigans was done so that Frank could get shuffle things around to get some good old US dollars out of whatever it is they use for money in Canada (Euros?), and thus be able to buy some gas on the drive all the way down here from Canadia. Once here, he was to try and get me out to a bar and stick so much liquor in me that I would feel so bad for a day or two that I'd forget to make some course changes in the Virtual Vendee, allowing Tim to take advantage of my disadvantaged disposition and re-take the lead.

It would almost have worked, Tim. Good effort, at least, but although you might have thought you had me figured out, I believe you dearly underestimated the power of Myers Dark. And Sparkler shots. And Rumplemintz.

I haven't heard from Frankie since he staggered away in the wee hours of the morning...

[Tim]

Dang! The jigs up, I am heading for Green Turtle Cay to find Frank, and make him work it off on my boat!

[CapnK]

Right when I hit "Post", Frank showed up here at the IT Shed.

His was hair all messy, eyes glowing red, furry-tongued, looking like he was about to cry, he whimpered something about having "hammers in his head". I guess  that that's something to do with his construction business...?

Anyway, we went to a local greasery and he enjoyed some good old Suthrin' breakfast cooking (except grits - he wouldn't eat the grits), and has now headed south to Cha'lstun (as they pronounce it). He says he is going to use his ill-gotten money from this foiled caper to look at a stinkpotter some poor soul is trying to sell down there. Frank thinks it would be a good boat to go mess about with up there near where Tim lives...

I reckon he's learnt his lesson.

[Tim]

Hmmm, I wonder if this means I become part owner of Frank's trawler? ???  8)

[Frank]

WOW.......just sobering up enuff to post now!!! Well....there IS enuff rum in Kurts town....but NOT enuff aspirin!!! All I got to say is that I innocently show up up for a nice quiet visit with our good Capt K. and suggest we go out for a nice "tea" somewhere. next thing I know we are in a bar, he's "hitting" on the cute teenage bartender and buying drinks for every girl in the house!  He just would not quit!!!!!!!! Now these are cute young gals....but Kurt could be their dad and not only am I happily married, but I could be their grand dad!! FINALLY...about 3am and only after the lil bartender threatened calling 911 could I finally drag him outta there!! Geez.....he IS a handfull!!! Next morning after I returned from eating my granola and yogourt and completing my morning jog...I went to check on his condition....there he was...passed out on the lawn, shot glass in hand and blurting out words that could not be understood. I think that lil blonde gal got to him!!
Oh well...it WAS great to see him again and have one or twenty with him.

[Tim]

Just be glad you weren't a day later, he would have been giving you Twinkies for breakfast!

[SalientAngle]

well, this is old news, but suspect some here were the momentum to change the law in south cackalacky,,, just saying... worth the read http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-12-29-sc-alcohol-law_x.htm

[maxiSwede]

I can see you all enjoying yourselves like Kings.. ;D ;D ;D

the virtual and rum to further perfect those lonely nights at the autopilot in the Southern Ocean!  ;)

I' ll stop by after the big event, too busy with the 'boat chores'. Too bad those couldn't be fixed at the laptop too  ;) ;D

[CapnK]

... too busy with the 'boat chores'. Too bad those couldn't be fixed at the laptop too  ;) ;D

Don't I wish!!! Not only would my boat be DONE, it would be PERFECT! ;D

[CapnK]

Hey Frank! Glad to know you made it home safe. I was concerned. Yes, my previous story about your visit was a bit off from what *really* happened, but this thread was being "monitored" by a few Federal 3-letter agencies, so I was trying to throw them off your trail. I'm sure you understand, and the fact that you are back in Canada shows it worked, so - all's welll that ends well, I guess. I do have a few 'updates' for you:

The fellas from the Sheriff's Office stopped by today. Good news! The property damage reimbursement you owe is under $5,000!!! Well, not by much, but under that, at least, right?

They also want their car back. You might want to see about doing something about that one pretty quick-like...

Let's see, what else... oh! After several protracted visits over the past few days, I've managed to persuade the widower Stephens to drop all charges, *and* she says you 'can keep the money', but *only* if (and I quote): "he comes back here right soon and gives me some more of that fine Canadian lovin".

I can only guess what she is talking about, since I was busy with the police while you were "hiding" with her, but have faith that you will understand.

Taquita, on the other hand, is being, umm, a little less forgiving... She says that you: "bes' not be sho'in' yo' face roun' fo' a while, coz her baby daddies don' do her like that an be's able to make mo' babies..." Zoiks. She's a hot-tempered one, eh?

Speaking of "hot" - I think that you got away clean from that little bit of fire. You know what I'm talking about. It took 2 days for them to put out, but there were no injuries, and no evidence linking it to your visit, so I assume they are going to regard it as good practice, pending no further cause to believe it was anything other than some weird sort of industrial accident.

It was good to see you. I was thinking that maybe next time you can stay longer, maybe even a full day? Just let me know. A few years in advance would be good.

Back to Bible Study for me!

Kurt