What is wrong with me... "a rant"

[Frank]

I'm back home almost a month. Everything is great. Why am I so unsettled....almost overwhelmed yet bored at the same time. Every year re-entry gets harder! From wind direction, tide and "is the panel facing the sun" being priorities... to yard work, phone calls, a ton of little things to attend to (house insurance, plates for the truck, oil change on Vicky's car, back door repair and on and on). None of it is a big deal....none of it. Then why the heck do I just want to say F it all and run back to the boat? All these 'little things' that in the past were (and are) so minor now seem to conspire to overwhelm me. I've thought lots about this and feel it is so hard to spend time with so few posessions, so few demands and live so "in the moment" only to return to a "normal life" (define normal?)  Not even sure what I'm trying to say here....I just know "normal life" holds little attraction for me anymore. End of rant

[Mario G]

Frank I understand that you are required to be in Canada for 6 months out of the year, and thats what keeps you from staying on the boat full time, but I'm not sure how I could handle moving on land myself. I have had problems just leaving the boat for a few days at a time, so I don't think there is anything wrong with you, you just need to remember that after awhile you will be back where you want to be.

[s/v Faith]

Frank,

  I can not breath ashore.  I am with you.

[Chris]

I hear you Frank. I have all these little shoreside obligations that in earlier days would not have phased me but it's hard to give a pluck anymore. Not about re-entry as with you, shoot, I haven't even left yet. In my case only 4 mos until my SS starts but I am letting go too early! I feel like I started my slide for home too soon :o. It doesn't help that my land based friends all think I'm bonkers along with a few dockbound, liveaboard mates who have started shaking their heads at my downsize to 24 from a comfy 32.
This is going to be a long 4 months holding things together until I can really focus on going.

[Captain Smollett]

Nothing wrong with you, Frank.

The big problem is that the pull to 'fit in' is very, very strong.  I'll not go on various tangents, but suffice it to say it applies to a LOT of things - not just cruising.

[Capt. Tony]

Frank, et al
Two plus two equals five.  You may be conflicted, and I say may, because I am no authority on the matter though I find myself continually immersed in it's effluent, because you break away from the indoctrination periodically and see the real world.  The truth. Simple, harsh and beautiful.  Returning "home" the materialistic, consumer-based, petroleum state, GMO riddled, over medicated, dumbed down, market worshipping, imperialistic, elitist society has lost its life robbing and mind numbing effect for a period of time.  You clearly see the charade and don't like what you see.  That feeling will eventually subside and then you will probably feel the urge to inexplicably purchase something you really don't need... 

Don't misunderstand me, I love life.  I love people.  I love this big blue, green, brown ball.  It's just that I have developed a vehement disgust for industrialists that devalue Life for the want lust of money.  I work for a filthy, self-serving industry that will continue to stomp on mother earth and fill our cells with poison as long as it is profitable, and they manipulate world politics to secure their position worldwide.  It shames me.  So PLEASE don't end your rant, Frank.  Instead tell it to young people so they at least get the opportunity to hear a different story.  Tell it to young at heart people to keep the idea alive in their hearts.  Tell it our elders, so they don't think we have completely bought into the malarkey and are drinking the Kool-Aid.  There is nothing wrong with you.  I assure you.  Keep on living the dream.

[Frank]

Thanks Tony....your reply is SO much better than my rant. Grog to ya!!

[Captain Smollett]

Another grog, Tony.  That was beautiful.

[Jim_ME]

Then why the heck do I just want to say F it all and run back to the boat?

I think that as we grow older it gets harder to accept being in denial about what really matters. As we already know...It's not the things. It's spending our precious limited life time doing what we want to, where we want to, and our relationships.

I remember a woman friend of mine once mused to me... "When you step onto your boat it's like you lose 20 pounds and have springs under your feet...you just bounce..."

[CharlieJ]

Another grog, Tony.  That was beautiful.

Yes, it was. And I fully understand the feelings.Happy to be here, at my house and shop, doing things, but really ready to carve another wake

[CharlieJ]

Then why the heck do I just want to say F it all and run back to the boat?

"When you step onto your boat it's like you lose 20 pounds and have springs under your feet...you just bounce..."

YES!!!