Reflections on the water

[Captain Smollett]

I posted this on another forum back in 2003, but Connie's story and the Father's Day comments reminded me of it, so I hope it's okay to 'repost' it here.  My apologies if any of you recognize it from 3 years ago.  I did modify the last paragraph for this posting from the original.

Fall is may favorite time of year. I love the cooler weather and in my area, Fall is the best sailing. We went sailing Saturday, the 11th. I sailed off the dock (no engine), south on a north wind. Rounding the shoal marker, I turned west, sailing a nice, easy beam reach in about 10 kts. The day was overcast, but not too hot nor too cold.

The easy going sailing gave me time to reflect. Seeing my 14 mo old daughter standing in the cockpit playing with something or other brought a smile to my face - she is such a joy. But not everything this time of year is pure joyous memories.

Monday would be the 10th anniversary of the death of my father (and is also the anniversary of my daughter's Baptism - I love the dichotomy of that). My Dad lost a long and grueling bout with prostate cancer; he never got to see my daughter, and for that matter, I never got to take him sailing. He would have loved this - peaceful weather, quiet water (few powerboats on the water today, only a few bass fishermen, and they are keeping a respectful distance).

During his illness, especially the later stages, I was the only person in the family that recognized the inevitable. I was the only person he could confess to that HE knew he was dying. My sister was 'we can beat it at all costs' and my Mom was just trying to get through each day's challenges. But, just like unfavorable wind shifts, the inevitable happens.

In a wind shift, I tacked the boat. As the boom swung across the centerline, I watched compass and landmarks to come up on my new course. I thought now about course changes...how one day, we think all is a straight line and we have all the answers, and the next we are going 90 degrees away. 10 years ago, I was on a career path that I thought was written down somewhere: teaching Chemistry at a small university, I was in those first steps moving toward research, publications and tenure. A week after returning from my Dad's funeral, my job blew up in my face; little did I know at that time I would change courses three more time and end up owning my own business - one that allows me to sail some weekends and most importantly, spend time with my wife and daughter.

Tacking again, I thought, wow, my birthday is coming up too. There are a couple of people who are glad I was born, but this year it seems a little 'marred.' That's the day Terri Shiavo's feeding tube is to be removed. Maybe it's selfish, but I just don't want something like that associated with my birthday. Spying my daughter, looking quite like the Michelin Tire Man in her pfd, again brings a smile to my face - she's trying to eat the pfd's zipper. Life for her is quite simple. The wind's died now and we are drifting ... and I ponder the 'circle of life' and many connections between all of us. Hunter and my Dad, me and Terri Schiavo, pairs connected in ways one or both will never know.

I get introspective in the Fall, and I get a little thoughtful while sailing when conditions warrant. Who, I ask myself, will understand these musings? Who can relate?

Other Sailors.

[Zen]

Touchingly true Capt.We are but sailboats on the sea of life...

[Pixie Dust]

Wonderful write John.  I have to admit, it brought tears to my eyes this Tues Morning.  :'(  Beautifully  written and "yes" we do understand. 
Thank you for posting this!