Humor

[Captain Smollett]

Any post by Dougcan when he's been drinkin' his ration of grog. ;D

[CapnK]

BUMP.

;D;D;D

[Coastal Cruiser]

I hope this is acceptable here. I am feeling at my lowest today, and tired of the orange barrels and multi-leveled Florida roads. Hope I haven't missed to much fun lately.

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"YES!", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."

[Captain Smollett]

[Pixie Dust]

I hope this is acceptable here. I am feeling at my lowest today, and tired of the orange barrels and multi-leveled Florida roads. Hope I haven't missed to much fun lately.

Feel your pain :P  Loved your joke!!   ;D

[Coastal Cruiser]

How Blonde Is She 

She was Soooooooo Blonde . 
* She thought a quarterback was a refund. 
* She thought General Motors was in the army. 
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. 
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. 
* At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius." 

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde... 
* She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. 
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it. 
* Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics." 

She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde... 
* She tripped over a cordless phone. 
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate." 
* She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." 
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. 

She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde... 
* She studied for a blood test. 
* She sold the car for gas money. 
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead. 
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. 

She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde... 
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. 
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. 
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. 
* She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE: 
 
She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company

[Pixie Dust]

 ;D ;D ;D

[Kailyst]

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."


The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."


...........You're gonna love this.........


The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate!!

[Pixie Dust]

Driving back to Tallabutsee early this morning from Panama City, I was behind a Webb's Seafood Truck.  Painted on tbe back, it said "Oysterpedic Fishisicians"   Dr. Webb.
Cracked me up.    ;D

[castawaysailor]

 :)